Parenting and Teaching
(From Light of Truth by Maharishi Dayanand Sarsvati)
A child becomes learned and wise if he/she is blessed with three good instructors – 1) mother, 2) father and 3) teacher.
Preparation for conception
Child rearing starts before the conception. Therefore, parent ought to observe strict food intake, have good and pure thoughts and have good habits, before conception, during pregnancy and after the delivery. Consumption of any intoxicant is strictly prohibited as they are harmful for the brain. Consumption of nutritious foods e.g. fruits, vegetables, grains, milk, sugar, nuts, clarified butter etc. provides clarity, morality, good habits etc. Such a pure diet helps in forming an excellent embryo.
Training of Children
Mother is the first teacher of a child. When child starts to speak, she should teach him/her the exact pronunciation of the words. Never repeat baby talk to the child with incorrect pronunciation. When child is able to speak and understand then the good manners should be taught. Teach the child to be the lover of knowledge and to enjoy the good company. The child should not be allowed to indulge unnecessarily in joking, laughing, quarreling, complaining, enmity, envious etc. Also teach the child not to touch, irritate the generative organ.
Parents and teachers who are strict in educating children give nectar, those who fondly love them give poison and ruin them. They should externally use threat to the child, but internally they should love and be kind to them.
Teach Good Manners
– Child should be taught not to use harsh or foul language in conversation and otherwise
– Should speak sweetly and calmly
– Avoid the useless talks
– Speak only what is required, no more, no less
– Should respect elders
– When elders come, if sitting, get up and offer them a higher (good) seat
– They should say hi, hello, Namaste to the elders
– They should not sit on a higher (better) seat then the elders
– In the assembly they should take a proper seat, where they will not be asked to move
– They should not quarrel with anybody
– Should be cheerful, virtuous
– Should stay away from vices
– Keep company of good people and avoid the wicked people
– They should serve the parents and elders with love, with the best of things
– Always be truthful and righteous
– There are no such things as ghosts, devils etc., do not believe in them – dead body is called a ghost.
– Do not get misled or duped by cheats
– Stay away from wicked actions, thoughts and temptations
– Do not waste manhood/womanhood and preserve energy, it promotes health and intelligence
– Do not believe in superstitions
Blind Faiths and Superstitions:
The misled and confused persons are on the wrong track for believing in unnatural made up devils, angels, fairies and other illusions. (This is not to be confused with good and bad people.) When a person dies, they take another birth based on their deeds. So there are no imagined bodies or people going around. Of course there are many mental diseases which need medical care. Never ever put your faith in cheats, hypocrites, ignoramuses, evil-doers and selfish people. They are the tricksters and frauds.
Astrology
Astrology, stars, signs, horoscope, palmistry, fortune telling etc. are highly condemned by the Vedas. God has given us the intelligence to think and learn; body to take actions. Future is not known to us for a good reason, therefore, do not even try to indulge in astrological myths and frauds. Just do your part and leave the rest to the creator of the universe.
Moral Instructions:
Teach children to stay away from robbery, adultery, indolence, negligence, intoxication, falsehood, slaughter, cruelty, jealousy, greed etc. and teach them to practice good behavior. A person who just steals once, tells a lie, involves in adultery in front of another person; looses his/her respect for ever. Who breaks the promise suffers a great deal of respect and credit. Therefore, always speak the truth and keep the righteous promise and word given to others.
Deception, fraudulence and ingratitude sting the heart of the practitioner, not to speak of the pain and harm one causes to the other person. Deception and fraudulence are when a person entices someone to do something for selfish motives and not caring for their well being. Ingratitude is a vice, not acknowledging the good done by others.
Allround Education
All should eat, drink, wear and do other things, which are good for health, knowledge and strength. It is parents imperative duty, the highest virtue, to make their children learned, virtuous, civilized and well educated at the expense of their own comfort, thought and wealth. It is the highest duty of parents, preceptors, and relatives to adorn children with good sound education, nobility of character, refinement of manners, and amiability of temper.
“Blessed are the men and women whose minds are centered on the acquisition of knowledge; who possess sweet and amiable tempers; who cultivate truthfulness and other similar virtues; who are free from vanity and uncleanliness; who enlighten the minds of those who are in ignorance; whose chief delight consists in promoting the happiness of others by the preaching of truth, by generous distribution of knowledge without fee or reward; and who are engaged in altruistic work as prescribed by the Vedas.” Manu
Pranayama
Practice of Pranayama as described in meditation chapter is highly recommended.
Character Building
Students mind ought to be the repository of Vedic learning and devotion to God.” MANU 2: 27. Without the practice of these an individual is never entitled to be called a pandit.
“As skilful driver keeps his horses under control, same way a wise man keep his senses — which are apt to lead both mind and soul into the pursuit of wicked objects — under complete control.” MANU 2: 88.
“Verily, that man alone can achieve his heart’s desire who is a master of his senses; he who allows himself to become their slave soon loses his character.” MANU 2: 93.
“A man of low character can never succeed in acquiring knowledge of the Vedas; in keeping up his vows of celibacy, truthfulness, etc.; nor in fulfilling his duties towards man and God, keeping control over his passions and desires, being steadfast in his devotion to truth and righteousness, and performing good deeds.” MANU 2:97
As it is always a sin to tell a lie, and always a virtue to speak the truth, a man should on all days shun vice and practice virtue.
“He who has a sweet and amiable disposition and serves the wise and old with all his heart, continually gains in knowledge, reputation and strength and enjoys a long life.” MANU 4: 121. Whilst he that is otherwise, never advances in knowledge, etc.
“Let a wise man bear malice to no living soul and let him show all men the path that leads to true happiness, let his speech be sweet and kindly, let him be truthful in word, deed, and thought. This alone can lead to the spread of truth and righteousness. Verily, he alone can have a true conception of the teachings of the Vedas whose mind and speech are pure and well under control.” MANU 2: 159, 160.
“That scholar alone is said to possess true knowledge of the Vedas and God, who shuns the world’s applause like poison and courts its censure like immortality.” MANU 2: 162
“Thus let the intelligent students (male and female) go on gradually acquiring knowledge of the Vedas, which is their highest duty.” MANU 2: 164.
“A non-intelligent person as well as his children who, instead of studying the Vedas, wastes his time in doing other things soon goes down to the level of a ignorant (lowest in character).” MANU 2: 168.
Cultivate any skill or talent you may possess. Never be indifferent to the acquisition of wealth, power, etc. Never neglect your duty to serve your father, mother, teacher, and all preachers of the true path (sages). Love virtue and shun vice. Imbibe our virtues, not our faults and imperfections. Always keep the company of those Brahmans (wise men) amongst us who are learned and imbued with piety; put your trust only in them.
“Be charitable. Give — in faith or without faith. For fame, or through shame, give. Give — whether through fear of public opinion, or simply for keeping your word. Always give. If you are ever in doubt as to the truth of any practice of dharma, or a doctrine, or mode of divine worship, follow the practice of those highly virtuous Brahmans, whether Yogis or not, who are free from prejudice, charitable in disposition, and well versed in philosophy and science (physical and spiritual), and extremely desirous of furthering the cause of righteousness. This is the advice. This is the commandment. This is the mandate of the Vedas. Yes, this is the Law. Follow this advice. Obey the Law.” TAITREYA UPNISHAD 7, 11:1—4 38
“Let all bear in mind that even the most insignificant action, in this world, is impossible without a desire on the part of the doer. Therefore, whatever a man does is the outcome of his will.” MANU 2: 4.
“Character or righteous living as taught by the Vedas, as well as, Apta’s in conformity with Vedas, is the highest virtue. (An Apta is a pious, truthful, unprejudiced, honest and learned man.) Vedas are the end-all and be-all of all reading and reciting, studying, teaching and preaching. Let a man, therefore, always walk in the path of righteousness. He that swerves from it can never enjoy true happiness — which is born of strict adherence to the conduct of life enjoined by the Vedas. He alone enjoys, all true happiness, who requires, knowledge and leads a righteous life.” MANU 1: 108, 109
Equitable dealings, the acceptance of truth and the rejection of untruth, under all circumstances, constitute the true conduct of life; or dharma, and the reverse of this is adharma
Says the Rig Veda: — “An ignorant man has eyes to see but sees nothing, has ears to hear but hears nothing, has a tongue to speak but speaks nothing. The ignorant can never understand the hidden mysteries of knowledge. But it is to the learned alone that knowledge reveals its true nature, just as a woman longing to meet her husband, dresses in her best and puts on her finest jewelry, so as to display her charms to him.” RIG VEDA 10: 17.4.
“What good can the Vedas do unto him who does not know that Great Being, who is All-pervading and Eternal, Holiest of all, who sustains the Sun and the Earth, and is the support of the learned, the method of whose realization is the chief aim of Vedic teachings? But they alone enjoy eternal bliss who study the Vedas, live a righteous life, become perfect Yogis and realize God.” RIG VEDA 1: 164. 39.
Five Great Duties
Let him constantly perform the Five Great Daily Duties, viz., Brahmayajna, Devayajna, Valivaishwadevayajna, Pitriyajna and Atithiyajna, to the best of his power:
1. Brahma Yajna. It comprises studying and teaching the Vedas and other Shaatraas, morning and evening devotions and practice of Yoga.
2. Devayajna (Holy Fire) it comprises the feeding of fire with clarified butter and odoriferous substances, association with the learned and the good, cultivation of purity, truthfulness and similar other good qualities, and the advancement of knowledge. These two Yajnas should be performed daily (during the twilights).
“It is said in the Atharva Veda, “The Homa substances (such as clarified butter, musk, camphor, saffron) used in the morning homa keep the air pure and wholesome till the next morning, while those burnt in the evening Homa keep the air pure till the evening and thereby promote health, strength and intellect..” ATHARVA VEDA 19:7: 3, 4.
3. Pitriyajna consists in serving learned men, great teachers, scholars, one’s father, mother, old people, great men, and great yogis.
It should be borne in mind that this yajna is meant for the living and not for the dead.
4. Valivaishwadeva Yajna, is taking care of dependent animals and needy people.
5. Atithi Yajna. An Atithi is one whose date of coming is not certain or fixed. Whenever a Sanyaasi (sage), who is virtuous and a preacher of truth, itinerates for the good of all, is a perfect scholar, is a Yogi of the highest order, happens to visit a house-holder let him offer him water to wash his feet and face, and to sip, and then offer a comfortable seat respectfully, give him good food and drink and other good things (such as clothes), and thus serve him most diligently and make him/her quite comfortable.
“Then let him benefit himself by his good company by learning such things in Physical and Spiritual Science, and would help him in acquiring virtue, wealth (worldly possessions), in gratifying legitimate desires, and obtaining Moksha (liberation). Let him conduct himself in accordance with his good advice. On suitable occasions, even a house-holder and a king can be honored as atithis, but
Let him never honor even by a greeting those that revile the Vedas or conduct themselves against their teachings, those that lead anti-Vedic lives, tell lies, practice frauds and live like cats, (Just as cats hide themselves and keep staring at rats and then in a moment pounce upon them, kill them and fill their stomachs; likewise are such men as gain their selfish ends by lying, cheating and acting in other ways like cats. They are, therefore, called cat-like) those that are obstinate, stubborn and vain, do not know anything themselves nor would they follow the advice of another, those that are sophists and talk nonsense like the Vedaantists of the present day who declare that they are Brahma, the world is a delusion, the Vedas and Shaastras and even God are fictitious and spin similar other yarns, those that live like herons (Just as a heron stands quietly on one leg as if in deep meditation but really keeps a watchful eye on some fish all the time to whose life it soon puts an end, and thereby accomplishes its selfish end, so do the Vairaagees and Khaakis of today who are very stubborn, obstinate and enemies of the Vedas, such men are, therefore, called heron-like).” Such men if honored multiply, increase sin and unrighteousness in the world, they are not only themselves do such works as bring about their degradation but also sink their followers to the lowest depths of ignorance and misery.
The uses of these 5 Great Daily Duties (Yajnas)
1. Brahmayajna is the cause of advancement in knowledge, culture, righteousness and refinement of manners, etc.
2. Agnihotra (Holy Fire) causes the purification of air, rain and water, and thereby conduces to the happiness of the world. The use of pure air for respiration, pure water, and pure food promotes health, strength, energy and intellect, which in their turn help men to acquire virtue, wealth, gratify (righteous) desires, and attain Moksha. Since Agnihotra purifies the air, water, etc., it is also called Devayajna.
3. Pitri Yajna: The service of father, mother, other learned persons and great souls, leads to the increase of knowledge and wisdom which help a man to discriminate between Right and Wrong. The acceptance of what is right and the rejection of what is wrong makes him happy. It is also right to serve our father, mother, tutor, in return of the services they rendered us while we were young. The faithful performance of this Yajna saves us from the charge of ingratitude.
4. Valivaishwadeva Yajna. Briefly speaking, they are as follows:
1. The discharge of our obligations towards the sick, the needy, the fallen and towards those faithful and useful animals and birds, etc. which are dependent on us for sustenance.
2. It is also a kind of atonement for the pain and suffering we unknowingly inflict on the lower creation in the daily routine of our lives.
5. Atithi Yajna: Without atithis (sages) of the highest order in this world, no progress cannot be made. As they go about in all countries (of the world), teaching and preaching truth, no hypocritical and fraudulent practices can flourish. Questions are answered, doubts are removed by such scholars.
Moral Advice
“Let a man wake up early in the morning at (about 4 A.M.), having relieved the necessities of nature (and taken a bath), let him think upon the means of acquiring virtue and wealth, and upon the causation of his bodily diseases (if any) and contemplate God.” MANU 4: 92.
“He should never lead an unrighteous life. Unrighteousness practiced in this world does not go unpunished, nor does it immediately produce its fruit (like a cow gives milk after eating). This is the reason why the ignorant do not fear sin, but it must be borne in mind that the practice of unrighteousness advancing slowly cuts off the very root of your happiness.” MANU 4: 174.
Through the practice of untruthfulness, deceit, and fraud, in other words through transgressing the commandments of the Vedas that are true guardians (of human happiness), and through hypocrisy, take possession of other people’s wealth and property, and prospers for a while, next with this wealth he obtains nice foods and drinks, good clothes, jewelry, houses and carriages, and wins social position and fame, even conquers his enemies through foul means, but at last he soon perishes like a tree whose root has been cut off.
“Let a learned man always honestly instruct his pupils in the ways of truthfulness and righteousness, as taught by the Vedas (viz., freedom from prejudice and partiality, the practice of truth and justice, and the rejection of untruth) and in nobility of character and purity.” MANU 4: 175.
“Let him never quarrel or wrangle with one who officiates at a Yajna (holy fire), with a teacher of truth and unrighteousness, with a maternal uncle, an atithi (guest) and a dependent., with children, aged and sick men, with a doctor of medicine, with people springing from the same paternal stock or belonging to the same community as he, connects by marriage (such as a father-in-law) and friends, with his wife, and his daughter, and with his servants.” MANU 4: 171, 181.
Characteristics of Imposter
Imposters should neither be trusted nor served. They are of the following 11 types:—
Dharmadwaji, (Literally one who displays the flag of virtue), is one who does not practice any virtue, but defrauds others in the name of virtue. MANU 4:195
Sadaalubdha — a covetous wretch.
Chhadmika is a deceitful person.
Lokadambhaka is one who brags of his greatness before others.
Hinsra is one who does injury to living creatures or bears malice to others.
Sarvaabhisandhaka is one who mixes with all kinds of men — good or bad — such a person should be considered a rogue and a mean fellow like a cat.
Adhodrishti is one who always looks down (whilst walking) in order to be considered a very virtuous person.
Naishkritika is one who is of a cruel, vindictive nature, even ready to take one’s life, if one has happened to do him a slight injury in order to revenge himself. MANU 4: 196.
Swaartha Saadhantatpara is one who is solely intent on attaining his selfish end, even through fraud, injustice, and hypocrisy.
Shatha is one who persists in his obstinacy even though he knows he is wrong.
Mithia Viniti is one who falsely demure and puts on a saintly appearance (to deceive) others). He should be considered a low wretch like a heron.
Next World
It is therefore, behoove all men and women “to accumulate virtue by degrees for obtaining happiness in the next world by giving pain to no living creature, just as the white ant gradually raises its hill.” For, “in the next world, neither father, nor mother nor wife, nor sons, nor relations, can befriend anyone. Virtue alone helps him there. Alone each soul is born; alone it dies; alone it enjoys the reward of its virtue — happiness; alone it suffers the consequence of its sin — pain.” Manu 4:238—240
It should be borne in mind. “A man commits a sin and thereby obtains something which he brings home, where all his family members enjoy it, but they do not suffer the consequences of his sin, it is he alone, who committed the sin reaps the consequences thereof.” MAHABHAARAT PAAJAGAR PARVA.
“When a man dies, his relations leave his corpse like (like a log or) a lump of clay on the ground, and retire with averted faces. No one accompanies him/her. It is his/her virtue alone that bears his/her company.” MANU 4: 241.
“Let a man, therefore, continually practice virtue for the sake of securing happiness in the next world, since it is through the help of virtue alone that the soul can cross the ocean of misery and sorrow so hard to cross. A man who regards, virtue alone as the highest thing (in the world), and whose sins have been destroyed through the practice of righteousness, attains to that All-glorious Being (God) whose body is A’kaash ~ the most Beautiful Supreme Spirit ~ by virtue of Dharma alone.” MANU 4: 242, 243.
“He who is preserving, gentle in disposition, subjugates passions, shuns the company of cruel and wicked men, injures no sentient creature, lives a virtuous life, keeps his mind under thorough control, bestows on others the gift of knowledge, etc., attains happiness.” MANU 4: 246
Importance of Speech
“But it should also be borne in mind that all things have their nature ascertained by speech; in speech they have their basis and from speech they proceed; consequently he that falsifies his speech is guilty of theft and like sins.” MANU 4: 256.
“Let a man, therefore, always avoid sins, such as untruthfulness in speech, and practice virtue, since through virtuous conduct, in other words, the practice of Brahmacharya (celibacy) and subjugation of passion, etc., he obtains long life, through virtuous conduct good offspring, through virtuous conduct imperishable wealth, virtuous conduct destroys all vices. For a man of bad character sinks to contempt in the eyes of all good men, is afflicted with misery, suffers from diverse diseases, and is short-lived.” MANU 4: 156, 157. 82
“Whatever action depends on another, that let him studiously avoid but whatever action depends upon himself, that let him diligently pursue.” MANU 4: 159.
Because “Dependence is pain, whilst independence is happiness. Let him know this to be the brief definition of happiness and pain.” MANU 4: 160.
Husband and Wife
Whatever is dependent upon both should be done with each other’s approval, because the relation between the husband and his wife is such that they cannot be independent of each other, in other words, they should treat each other most lovingly and live harmoniously. They should never quarrel with each other, nor commit adultery. The wife, subject to her husband’s control, should be supreme in the house, whilst all affairs other than those relating to the household should be under the control of the husband. They should prevent each other from contracting vices, in other words, it should be borne in mind that after marriage, the husband and the wife entirely belong to each other, that is, their hearts, their feelings and their bodies from top to toe (reproductive-elements and all included), become subject to each other’s control.
Let them never do anything against each other’s wish. Of all things likely to upset their happy relations, the worst are adultery and fornication, etc. Let them avoid these. Let the husband always remain contented with his wife, and the wife with her husband. If they are educators, let the husband teach boys, and his wife if she be well-educated, teach girls. Let them make them learned by preaching and lecturing to them on various subjects. The husband is the adorable God for the wife, and the wife is the adorable goddess for the husband.
The husband and the wife should never live apart from each other, since the “use of animal food and intoxicants such as spirituous liquors, association with the wicked, separation from the husband, wandering about uselessly by herself from place to place with object of visiting so-called saintly persons (who are all really imposters), sleeping and dwelling in another man’s house (through wantonness) are the six vices that are apt to contaminate a woman’s character.” MANU 9: 13. These very vices contaminate a man’s character as well.
Qualifications of Teachers (male and female)
“He alone is a wise man, who is never idle nor lazy, nor affected by pleasure or pain, profit or loss, honor or dishonor, public applause or censure, has always a firm faith in Dharma, and cannot be tempted by sensual object.” MAHAABHAARAT VIDURPRAJAAGAR, 32.
To practice virtue and avoid sin, abstains from speaking ill of God, of the Vedas, and of righteous living, have unbounded faith in God, verily these are the duties of a wise man. The first qualification of a wise man is that he should be able to grasp the most abstruse subject in a very short time, should devote years of his life to the study of the Shastras (true sciences) and thinking over them, apply his knowledge for the good of others, never do anything for his selfish gain, should not give his opinion unasked or interrupt another in his speech.
He alone is a wise scholar who does not desire for the unattainable, nor broods over his losses nor loses his head in misfortune.
He alone is a wise scholar who is well-versed in all kinds of knowledge, is a very clever debator, can speak on any subject, is a good logician, has a good memory, can easily give a true exposition of the Vedas.
Verily he alone is entitled to be called a wise man whose intellectual up-building is in conformity with truth (as he knows it), who hears the Vedas read that are in harmony with reason, who never steps beyond the bounds of good, righteous men.
Wherever such teachers (male and female) exist, knowledge, righteousness, and good conduct advances and thereby continually increases.
Characteristics of undesirable teachers and fools
“He who has neither read Vedas, nor heard it read, is extremely vain, builds castles in the air though poor, wishes to obtain things without any exertion on his part, is called a fool by the wise.” MAHAABHAARAT VIDURPRAJAAGAR 35.
He who enter an assembly or another man’s house uninvited and occupies a seat above his rank, jabbers a great deal without being asked to speak, is very credulous — i.e. trusts the untrustworthy or believes that ought not to be believed, is verily a fool and the lowest of the low.
Wherever such men occupy the positions of teachers, preachers, and preceptors, and are honored, there ignorance, unrighteousness, bad manners, discord, strife and disunion grows and thereby misery and sorrow increases.
Vices of Students
“Physical mental inertia, use of intoxicants, infatuation, idle gossip, neglect of studies, vanity, and absence of Brahmacharya (celibacy), these seven vices are to found among students.” MAHAABHARAT VIDURPRAJAAGAR, 39. Such students can never acquire knowledge.
How can a pleasure-hunter acquire knowledge? And how can a student enjoy sensuous pleasures (and yet acquire learning)? Let a pleasure-hunter bid farewell to knowledge and let a seeker after knowledge bid farewell to sensuous pleasure; since without doing this, no man can ever acquire knowledge.
Qualifications of Good Students
“They alone who practice virtue, subjugate their passions and never lose their reproductive element, are true Brahmacharis (celibate) and become learned men.” MAHAABHARAT VIDURNITI.
It follows, therefore, that the teachers and students should possess excellent qualities. The teachers should so endeavor as to produce in their scholars such good qualities as truthfulness in word, deed and thought, culture, self-control, gentleness of disposition, perfect development of mind and body, so that they may become well-versed in the Vedas and Shastras. The teachers should always be diligent in eradicating the evil habits of their scholars and in imparting knowledge. The scholars should always cultivate self-control, mental tranquility, love for their tutors, thoughtfulness and habits of diligence. They should so exert themselves as to acquire perfect knowledge, perfect Dharma, perfect development of body (to enable them to live to the fullest age allotted to man), and learn to labor.
